Meal Prep Monday FAQ

First of all, you should know that I am eating pizza while I type this.

Without fail, I post my accountability salad-making for the week, and the intelligent questions roll in.

What are those round, red things in there?

I don't see any protein. Don't you know that you need protein with veggies?

What kind of lettuce is it?

Why would you eat chickpeas?

Is your lettuce flaccid?  << second favorite word in the English language

Guys, it's vegetables, chopped up in containers. I want to say that it's deeper and more complex than me turning on some dancing music, and chopping veggies for the week.

Sometimes it's organic, sometimes it's not. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for eating non-organic. Eat the salad, not the pizza.

Ready to be blown away?

The basics stay the same: romaine lettuce, grape tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, and almond slivers. Clean it (if it's not organic), and chop it.

Grill up some thin cut steak and chicken.

These boxes are our jam and you can grab them HERE.

Yes, my husband eats them.

Sometimes the kids do.

Yes, I add the protein when I'm ready to eat the salad.

Sometimes, if I'm feeling crazy, I chop up hard-boiled eggs and throw those in. 

Go forth and meal prep.

The Lazy Girl's Guide to Pie-Making

I am the laziest cook/baker on the planet. I want to make pretty yummies, but I would also rather binge-watch Hart of Dixie (just started watching a couple of days ago & I'm a few episodes into season 2...omgggggg!!).

Now, this pie can be made all homemade and from scratch and shit, but I have 3 children who need me to watch them do acrobatics, wipe their disgusting noses, and various other things. The great thing about this is you can take the lazy route and impress the hell out of people. 

You need 4 ingredients. Four.

2 large cans of cherry pie filling, 1 large can of blueberry pie filling, pie crusts, and 1 egg.

Now, most people would take aluminum foil to section off their pie, but I thought I had some and I didn't, so I improvised. You are looking at a brown paper bag, folded up & wrapped in some plastic wrap. #nailedit

Dump in your blueberry pie filling once the cherry is in.

Roll out the other pie crust, cut out some strips for your stripes, and grab your handy dandy star cookie cutters and cut you some stars.

Crack egg and brush it on your crust (helps it turn golden brown). Bake at 400 F for 15 minutes, then 375 F for 45 minutes.

Boom. Done. Easy as pie. People will think you slaved over it, and really you just dumped some cans in a pie pan & turned on your oven. If you have an obnoxious mother-in-law, make this little number for her, throw some real fruit in there, and that psychopath will think you aren't such a bad choice for her son.

Oh, and Happy Memorial Day!

Makeup Tip Monday

I grew up loving makeup. I used to love watching my mom put on makeup everyday. I learned early on about foundation, blush, blending, and color palettes that worked with my skin tone. I did not, however, heed that advice in junior high/early high school. The hooker palette was more my go-to look. Having a daughter, who will eventually begin wearing makeup without my advice, slightly terrifies me. Hopefully, hooker chic is not in style when she hits puberty. It only adds to the acne-ridden, greaseball look that befalls pre-pubescent teens.

While I do not bill myself as a makeup/fashion blogger, I still love those things. It only started in the last year or so that I've actually enjoyed buying clothes and dressing my smaller frame (not this current frame. How do you dress a beach ball?). I actually care more. I have, however, always loved makeup. I took some advice from another blogger and bought some new mascara, so I wanted to share my thoughts on this black tar that I cover my tiny lashes in.

This close up to my face is absolutely AWFUL. 

Maybelline the ROCKET VOLUM' EXPRESS

As you can clearly see in the picture, the look of the day is SPIDER eyes. I bought this mascara because a friend of mine (I say friend loosely - she owes me $8 for this waste of a purchase) highly recommended it. I, typically, stick to what I know works for me. I don't like to stray from that, but when someone raves, I'll bite. And I did. I'm so glad I wasted $7.99 on this goop. 

The wand comes out goopy, the black tar goes on goopy, and then when you try to fix the goops by compulsively wiping the wand on the edge of the tube and reapplying, you get the hooker/spider look. Maybe that can be this year's Halloween costume! A hooker spider. 

No amount of curling your lashes, including taking your hair dryer to said curler and heating it up, helps either. You literally get eye lashes that are thick & goopy that stick straight out. Maybe this is your cup of tea. Don't be surprised when people look at your eyes wondering if you've been applying wet tar to your eyes. Wearing this disaster brought me back to my pre-pubescent years of greasy skin, shimmery blue eye shadow and gobs of mascara covering my poor eyes. 

So, if you're into this look, please stop into your local Target (because we feel far classier stepping through the doors of Target with our Starbucks in our hand than we feel when we trip into WalMart with our most disgusting pair of sweats we own) and pick up Maybelline Rocket Volum' Mascara.

If you have makeup items that you totally hated, please send them to me. I'd love to check them out, seeing as how I have nothing to do for the next couple of weeks.

xoxo,

a.