Him.

I fell in love with a boy at 18. He was quiet, kind, sentimental, musical, funny as hell, weird, Mark-McGrath-frosted-tipped.

He had been my best friend for 4 years, and after we dated some other pimple-faced kids, we were like, "hey, you're cool. Wanna go to the movies?" He awkwardly tried to snuggle with me while we watched Pearl Harbor, to which I respond like this:

We spent the next 6 years getting bad haircuts, eating lots of burritos, traveling, moving, working, and changing.

Two days before Christmas, that sweet boy proposed to me. Four months later, we were married in a rustic old church in Fort Collins.

I'll be the first to admit that this year hasn't been our easiest. We argued, we gave each other the cold shoulder, we acted like buttholes. Today, I sit here completely enamored with this man. He has stretched me, made me laugh, made me cry, made me laugh until I cry, bought our family an amazing home that he is now investing his time, blood, sweat & tears into to make this the best place for our littles, he works his ass off, he comes home in a good mood EVERY.FRICKIN.DAY., he loves me unconditionally, he is the one who wants to discuss parenting and how we could be better at being parents, to which, I always roll my eyes, he is kind, he is compassionate, he is empathetic, he is tender-hearted, and that beard. I could go on, but you're grossed out & bored. 

So, today, on the eve of his 31st birthday, I am humbled and honored to be the one standing by his side. If you had told those 14-year-old kids that, 17 years later, we'd have 3 beautiful, perfect children, two of which were twins, we probably would have bolted in opposite directions. But holy shit. I cannot imagine a better life. It's not perfect, but man, is it a total kick in the ass.

I love you to the moon, to the stars & to the skeletons, bae. Happy Birthday, my love.

A.

All the Random Ish in my Head

I started writing a book today. I'm clearly getting a lot accomplished because I am writing a blog post while the cursor is blinking at me in another tab.

What's it about, you ask? My life. No, it's not that interesting, so if anyone ever reads it, I'll die on the spot, but hey, it's a dream that is being fulfilled.

What's the point of THIS post? It's three-fold.

1. I want you to know that I started writing a book because I'm dying for attention. ETA: Josh wrote my dedication blurb: "To the one, for whom I live and breathe, my amazing, bearded sex-god husband, Josh."

2. I am revamping the Mama Swag Monday posts. We have some AMAZING vendors on the calendar for the next couple of months, and ya'll will piss yourselves. I mean, did you see this?

Beanie courtesy of Miss Giggle Buns

3. I am looking for guest bloggers while I spend most of my time writing this damn book AND fixing up the house. Share a funny story, a funny picture, a sarcastic comment, a tutorial, beauty-related crap. All of it. Make my readers laugh and we're BFF's. If you'd like to be added to the list, please email me with a topic and we'll chat.

Enough procrastinating. Back to writing.

Later kittens,
a.

Fall 2015 Beauty Haul for the Basic White Girl

If you are a longtime reader of ALB, then you know that I am a hair & makeup whore. Unless I am going to WalMart, my hair is always mermaid-waved and my eyelashes are heated & curled. That being said, while the upper extremity is quaffed, the lower is usually covered in grey sweats. It's called balance.

So, I'm not a beauty expert by any means, but these are the cool things that you need this fall to be cool like me. And Lord knows, I am one cool betch.

1. #alltheplaid. If you don't have at least 10 different plaid button downs, you are literally doing everything in your life wrong. I have 5 shades of a red & blue plaid. I mean, a girl's gotta have options.

2. L'Oreal Tan Towelettes. This goes right along with my discussion on not being ugly just because you're camping. Yes, the season for tall boots, leggings and pumpkin spice deodorant is upon us, but one does not need to look like a ghost before Halloween. My sister told me about these towelettes, I told Kylie, Kylie told 94875984375983 people. She actually accused me of trying to be hotter than her and holding out on beauty information.

3. Heidi braids. If you aren't familiar with Barefoot Blonde, then you don't know what social media is. Amber has become a YouTube sensation by braiding her frickin' hair. I mean, for the love. I am doing everything wrong. Maybe I could start painting my nails on YouTube & become famous. Anyway, braids. Long, loose, crazy. Braid your hair & you are suddenly a hairstylist.

4. Red lips. I, for one, cannot pull this look off. I look like I got in a fight with my mother's Caboodle. My best fran? Hot. You know what's annoying? I just learned how to contour my damn face, and according to Harper's Bazaar, it's out. We're back to blushed cheeks. Rude.

5. Pumpkin Spice Latte. You are not a basic white girl without this accessory in hand. Let's face it, Starbucks matches anything. I will admit that I have yet to find an outfit that my Starbucks cup cannot enhance, but dammit, I will keep trying just to get to the bottom of it.

What's something you can't live without this fall?

A.