Nicholas Sparks is an SOB

First of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle fingers, through a keyboard soaked in tears. Why women do this to themselves, evades me.

Some stupid Target clerk suggested I watch this sob fest. She, clearly, hated me.

What I just sat through in the last 2 hours will haunt me forever. Nicholas Sparks is just like Stephen King, but in a very different way. Stephen King is one scary SOB. The things that his twisted brain come up with are just mental. Mr. Sparks is the same way when it comes to love. He, apparently, had his heart physically ripped out of his chest by the great love of his life, and then was made to watch as she rode off into the sunset with an uglier, richer man.

I know the score with Mr. Sparks. I'm not stupid. I have read the books. I finally stopped reading the books a few years back when it became apparent that I was a masochist. I would lay in bed, sobbing uncontrollably for hours at a time after being forced into falling in love with whatever couple it happened to be this month, only to watch as one of them dies a horrific, effing death while the other becomes a shell of a person.

His newest "hit" has only further depressed me, and for that, I would like him to reimburse me for the therapy that I will be needing. "The Best of Me." Nice, happy title, right? NO. The following text messages show you the roller coaster of emotions Mr. Sparks has subjected me to:

As in all great love stories, we encounter child abuse, childhood cancer, oh, and DEATH, the death of another loved one, the separation of true love, parents trying to break kids up, alcoholism, more child abuse, followed by vengeance, followed by best friends being shot to death on accident, a prison stint, car accidents, fathers murdering their sons, children needing heart transplants, more death and divorce. I mean, if this is what Mr. Sparks believes love is, he is one effed up SOB.

My heart now lays on the floor, being ripped out of my chest, spat on and stomped on. With that, I have one question for Mr. Sparks: who hurt you?

Permanently emotionally scarred,

Why The Notebook is the Greatest Movie of All Time

Ryan Gosling. 

The end.




Just kidding. I mean, true, but no. Nicholas Sparks is a real pain. We know going in that someone will die, and yet, we pick up the damn book, read it & curse him when our favorite character dies. What is wrong with us women? We are the worst. And still, we read, and cry, and then we watch the movie, and cry.

I think I speak for the majority of us when I say that The Notebook is his greatest love story. We were immediately sucked into Noah & Allie's love story simply because they are both beautiful. Like, it's annoying how beautiful these two are. Then, we dive into their love story.

1. They were complete opposites.

She had money. He was poor. She had everything she could have ever wanted. He worked for everything he had, which wasn't much. He taught her how unimportant those things were. Love is all you need.

2. He would be a bird for her.

No explanation necessary.

3. They challenged each other.
They fought. A lot. They were different, so they saw the world differently. They didn't let each other get away with things. They called each other on their ish.

4. He stood with her through her illness.

Even though she didn't remember, Noah read their love story to Allie every single day in hopes that his sweetheart would come back to him, if just for a few minutes. 

5. Their love remained strong until the end.
In the most gut-wrenching scene in the entire film, Allie lays on her death bed & is herself again. Noah lays down next to her, they go to sleep & slip away together. I know many girlfriends who have said that this is how they want to go. I know many girlfriend's husbands who roll their eyes at them when they say this.