The name of the game is simplify. Life is so cluttered & messy right now. Some seasons are just that way, but when it's time to calibrate, you just know it. The schedule is cleared & the month is wide open. And I do not intend to fill it with much.
Simplifying is being applied to every aspect. I cleaned out our utility closet the other day - top to bottom. It's ridiculous how clean it is. I'm selling stuff stored in the basement that is just taking up space in the house & in my brain. It's time to declutter. I have overcommitted in so many areas of my life - some of them have been rewarding & others have not. The have nots have got to go.
In watching multiple people go through life-altering events in their life in the past year including our 3rd miscarriage, I have gained so much perspective on what is important in life & what needs to be dropped. I'm sick of wasting my time & energy on the things that drag me down.
Sometimes in the middle of writing here, I need direction or depth or just something to get my mojo going & that place always ends up being Kelle's blog. Her advice on writer's block is to get to the heart of what you want to say. And what I really want to say is that I'm tapped the hell out. I would call my Papa nearly every Wednesday, either before or after Bible study, & say "I have nothing to give these women. I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel. How can I possibly add anything to their lives?" And since he is old, he has good advice. He would say, every single time, that those are the times when God uses you the most - you have nothing to give, so it's Him giving through you.
Over the last 11 weeks, I watched Him change things. I struggled to get through a Bible study that was intensive & exhaustive, & at a time, when I was just scraping by myself. We ended last week, & it was a nice time. Our group has become close & we'll miss our times together, but I was relieved. I had nothing to give them, so I assumed that not much had changed. Maybe they could tell you differently. Maybe they would tell you that it was just what they needed for this season in their lives. Maybe they would tell you that God moved.
Or maybe one of them would tell you that her life was changed. Saturday morning, at our women's Christmas luncheon, I watched as someone so near & dear to me that I consider her my sister, raise her hand, ever so slightly, to receive the Lord. In one instant, she went from uncertainty to a life filled with purpose & direction & hope. She's forever my sister.
Was it worth the weeks of feeling inadequate? Was it worth the frustration of feeling like I had nothing to give? Was it worth it to feel like a fool every week? I'd do it for the rest of my life to be able to say that it was instrumental in getting my girl to change her life.
That's the stuff that matters. That's the stuff that makes this life worth living. That's the stuff that sheds light & perspective on the rest of the crap we put up with, the people who hurt us, the situations that kick our butts.These are the things that give you pause & make you take stock of the people, commitments, & situations in your life, & decide what needs to stay & what needs to go. It's a season of purging in our house - physically, as well as emotionally. Perspectives have changed. It's about time.