Black Circles

This is one of those rare moments where both the Twinkies & Maddie are either sleeping or occupied. Before I sat down to type this, the house looked like this:

This week has been one of the longest. I spent the greater part of the week hanging out with my mom, taking care of Twinkies, power watching Revenge (ermahgerd! such a good show!). As the week closed out, I was tired, but I wasn't miserable. We had gotten into a good routine with the boys, Maddie was as happy as a threenager can be, and I was feeling ok. Then, the weekend hit. I woke up freezing cold. Like to the bone. I layered up, encroached on Josh's side of the bed, and proceeded to shiver from 3am to 6am. I woke up to fetch whichever of the litter was crying, only to realize I was so dizzy. I quickly laid down and fed one of the twins. A couple of hours later, I woke Josh & told him I couldn't hold the babies because I was so dizzy I thought I would drop one of them. My mom came in & scooped the boys up, and I texted Dr. P. He said to head straight to the ER. After 5 hours of blood work, peeing in cups, and CT scans, they thought I had a kidney infection. The bad part was the blood pressure. It was somewhere between dead & barely dead, so they shipped me by ambulance to MCR. Again. 

More of the same while I was in the hospital. I spent my time either sleeping or shivering violently. I had some of the worst care I have ever received while I was there. Even Mr. CalmCoolCollected was losing his shiitake mushrooms over the lack of communication, lack of concern, and lack of care by the nurses and Doogie Howser.

After 24 hours of observation, 5 bags of saline for dehydration (feeding twins apparently sucked all of the moisture out of my body), and antibiotics for what some thought was a kidney infection, I was sent home. Fast forward (I typed fart and laughed #sleepdeprived) a couple of hours. I could literally feel the heat radiating off my face, took my temp & it was back up to 103.1. Another couple of texts & calls with Dr. P, and we headed back to the hospital. BUT. I knew what it was. Mastitis. No one had thought to ask or check, and bam. I googled it, diagnosed myself, and the ER doc confirmed it. 

I've been home a couple of days now, and I'm wiped. I feel better than death, but worse than I care to feel. The boys have hit their 6 week growth spurt and were up every 2 hours last night. I have never smelled as bad or looked as rode hard & put away wet as I did today. I will spare you a picture because my face will give you nightmares. 

You know when you're so tired that every fiber of your being hurts and everyone irritates you? Like, their face makes you angry? Well, that was my poor husband today. He let me take a nap, and I still felt like punching him. Remember that stupid counseling game that Jim & Pam played in Season 9? "I acknowledge & appreciate your sacrifice..." Well, I made him play that game with me after I finally showered tonight. Honey, I acknowledge & appreciate feeding the boys with me at 1am, and then letting me nap after you got up. I acknowledge that I was a raging bish today. I appreciate you putting up with me. 

I leave you with pictures of the litter today. All sleeping or joyful while I smelled like a farm animal. Rude.

A huge thank you to our moms who stayed with the boys while we spent countless hours at the hospital. We know it's hard, but we ACKNOWLEDGE & APPRECIATE your sacrifice. We can never thank you enough. And to Josh's stepdad for taking care of our girl while life was upside down yet again. We love you all!

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