Twinkies, Thunder Thighs & The Bachelorette

I have missed this blinking cursor on this clean sheet of e-paper. I have, however, been slightly preoccupied with keeping two tiny humans alive. The upside to being trapped in the house for most of the day is that I can catch up on shows I love to watch, as well as the ones I love to watch to hate (i.e. The Bachelor franchise).

First, I will start with the boys. They are really doing great. I successfully dressed them & took them BY MYSELF to their circ appointments with our new ped the other day. I had done my hair, dressed like a girl, and BATHED. I was pretty chuffed with myself until the end of the appointment. I was dripping sweat, half dressed, and both of the boys were crying. Thankfully, Starbucks is just down the street, so that sweet, green lady saved my mood. This was supposed to be about them... Both are growing, eating really well, and best of all, sleeping great! I am actually getting about 8 hours of sleep (total) every night with TWIN NEWBORNS. I consider this an incredible feat. #supermom

Secondly, I was under the impression that giving birth to 10 pounds of babies, and placentas, and apparently, and a blood bath that rivaled a scene from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, would entitle me to a dramatic weight loss. Let me enlighten you: it does not. I have lost 22 of the 35 I gained. Good, right? However, let me give you a word of advice: do not try on your skinny jeans just 2 weeks postpartum. It should make you want to starve yourself. I did not find this to be true. Instead, I made a beeline (Kylie) for the Oreos. And why do I have said Oreos in my house? Because my stupid friend thought it was a good idea to bring that ish into my house. Oh, thanks for dinner, by the way, Maren.

And lastly. The Bachelorette. I finally caught up during multiple nursing sessions. My first impression was that none of these dudes are very attractive. I have found that there is a Mindy Project quote for every situation in life. This dialogue ran through my mind as I watched these gentlemen step out of the limos:

Jason: "For me, it was refreshing to see normal people falling in love in a movie."
Mindy: "I have not yet tired of seeing hot people fall in love."

Yes, amen. 

We all fell in love with Andi when she finally worked up the cajones to tell Pabs what a douche bag he truly is. So far, I'm meh. I like her, but meh. And these dudes? See, I was friends with more guys in high school than girls because girls can be uber dramatic (don't take offense to that, you drama queen). However, what is up with these whiny, needy, drunken uggos? I don't get it. You're acting like the catty women we watch on The Bach - I'm looking at you, Marcus. 

I have much more to say, but I will recap the whole thing later. Btw, I really liked Eric, and that whole last scene was painfully dramatic. And really? Her interview? Come on. She knew him for 4 weeks, and we needed a recap of how this effected (Rachel, I don't know if it's E or A here) her? Ugh. That annoyed me. 

Thoughts? Musings? I can't believe it, but I actually miss Pabs. He was quite entertaining.

a.

P.S. Thank YOU for the dinners that keep us fed and the Chais that keep me caffeinated! You all are the best!