SOCIAL MEDIA

Saturday, August 25, 2012

The big FAT post

I hate writing about controversial topics. I'm not good at it. I don't want to debate about it. Not that weight loss is controversial, but you usually get some eye rolls with a post about it. I get it - it irritates me to see it too much, but I guess, as it is part of my story, I will blog about it. So, roll your eyes, punks. I don't care. I ain't mad at ya. Because sugar, you can't deny this change:

58 pound difference

I was never good at eating healthy. I was a bean pole as a kid, so I never thought about it. The only thing that I remember is my sweet, gentle, loving Grandma saying "You know, kid, you won't be able to eat 2 Big Mac's & stay skinny forever." I'd pause mid-bite & roll my eyes, only to continue onto the second Big Mac & large fries.

Bean pole status

 Unfortunately, Grandma was right. I started gaining in high school. I was overweight, had to put my large butt in a sexy school uniform with pleated khaki pants, & it was not pretty. So, I did what every teenage girl does...I starved myself. I ate 1,000 calories a day & ran every single day. It worked. I lost 15lbs in a couple of months. I had no idea that this would set a course for the next 10 years of my life. And it wasn't a course that I would wish on anyone.

Post-starvation

I graduated, started college & gained it back. I didn't care. I was dealing with extreme anxiety, & food was the only comfort I found. My parents were separated, I hated school & I had no idea what I was going to do with the rest of my life. They implore you, at 18, to decide what you want to do for the rest of your life. Seems a little stupid to me, teachers. I started teaching preschool, & continued to bounce around on the scale. I did the Atkins diet & lost 30 pounds, only to gain it back shortly after.

Atkins

I was overweight when we got married, but I was ok. I wasn't a beast, but I wasn't teeny. I look back on the photos & wish that I had tried. I didn't. I was working at a horrible salon, with a horrible boss, I was in a new state & feeling out of my element. Food was always there for me. After we got married, I gained 30 pounds (probably more, but I didn't have a scale at that point because who would want to know beyond that). I was spinning out of control. I was teetering on the edge of letting go completely & no longer caring, but being scared to death that this was the path I was headed down. I wanted babies, & I didn't want to be unhealthy. But I really like donuts. Those stupid things get me every time.

Wedding. Duh.

By the time my birthday hit in 2009, I was down 15 pounds & we were ready to try for a baby. By June, I had lost 2 pregnancies & I was devastated. My anxiety had skyrocketed & I was depressed. We were told to wait 3 months before trying again, so I took this time to lose weight. I lost 15 more pounds, got pregnant in November & only gained 16 pounds with Maddie - don't hate.

When Maddie was 3 months old, I was fed up. I was tired of being a mess. I didn't want to be anxious all the time, worrying about my health, & I did not ever want my children to struggle the way I did. So, I started eating right & exercising.

December 2010

Within 6 months from the day Maddie was born, I had lost 45 pounds. I was feeling good. I stayed there for a while, happy, but wanted to lose more. I continued to lose over the next year, but it was only 7 or 8 pounds. I was still trying to lose my last 6 pounds when I got pregnant in June. Not very hard, but nonetheless. A week after the surgery, I was down 6 pounds that my body had apparently been holding onto.

Today, I hit my original goal. I have lost 58 pounds. 58!! And in honor of that, I am showing you my fabulous new dress my mama bought me.


While I am so elated & proud of myself for finally reaching this, my goal of being healthy was the one that was most important. I never had a good relationship with food. I didn't know there was such a thing. It sounds silly to even type it, but I now know that it's true. I never want my children to feel the same way I did about food or about myself. I hated myself. I thought I was worthless because I couldn't get this under control. I want my kids to know that eating good food is fine & healthy. I don't want them to think they aren't allowed to have things, & then hide them from me. That's what I did - I wasn't supposed to have it, so I hid it in my car & ate it when no one was watching. I want them to feel like having treats are perfectly acceptable. It's something that I finally learned. It's not an everyday occurrence, but we will be eating good food around here. I didn't pin all those fall pumpkin recipes for nothin'. We'll be eating them. But we will do it in moderation. Now that I have my weight under control, & I know how to eat & maintain a healthy lifestyle, my kids will know this. This is what their future will hold. Not a mom struggling to get by & unable to help her children learn. I can show them because I am doing it.

~Insert cheesy, triumphant outro song~

It's a good day, people.

a.


6 comments :

  1. love it andrea... my story is eerily similar. :) you are a beautiful example of positive, intentional change. keep it up!

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  2. so happy for you & proud of you too, but I always knew you could do it. now, let's go drink a coke and eat Del Taco ;) we can work off the calories at Hobby Lobby.

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  3. Congratulations, you look great!
    I am going through a similar struggle right now. I was never over weight until after the birth of my first child and I started eating badly in College and using food as a comfort drug. I had my 3rd babe in March and would like to lose 30 lbs, but not seeing results as quickly as I would like. I feel gross and angry with myself and am ready to do something about it.
    Thanks for the inspiration!

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  4. Beautiful story. You look amazing!

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  5. wonderful story thanks for sharing :-D

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  6. Wow! you were beautiful then and your beautiful now. Thank you so much for sharing your story..It encourages me to keep trying the right way to lose my weight. can you believe i was 124 when i married willie and in size 10 pants with the flattest stomach that i was so proud of and then i went thru 2 misscarriages and quickly jumped up to 185 within a matter of 6m? from there i have had 4 healthy and big babies and am stuck at 200.I have tried every diet/exercise program out there and nothing works. So now im just workin at accepting myself and learning to eat right and keep exercising..I really want to have the same transformation that you did..thank you again for sharing your story..it helps to know your not alone out there with the same struggle.love ya

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