The one with the cake

If you had asked me months ago, when I started working on these streamers, what I thought this week would be like, I would have never believed that so much sadness could be mixed with so much happiness. I would have never thought after all my dreaming that I'd be the one sitting down on the couch, unable to do all the things I had dreamed of & planned for my girl's party. My dreams came together, but it wasn't the way I planned it. But...without further ado...the best place in the house...the dessert table.

 This amazing, beautiful, stunning cake could not have happened without my amazing niece, Megan. Thank you for making my vision come true while I sat & cried while you made it. You will never know what that week meant to me having you & Morgs there. I love you more.

My little 2 year old. She's 2. When did that happen? Isn't she only like 6 months old? My sweet girl had a great day. I love getting up on days where something great is going to happen, knowing that this will be a day that makes her smile. That she will look back & know that this was a really good day.

As the house started to fill up, my sadness slowly slipped away. I started chatting with friends & family who all came to love my girl. I want her to be loved deeply. And she is.

 Cake smash fail. The one moment in time she decides to be dainty.

At this moment, after presents had been ripped open, baby dolls were being drug by their necks through the living room, the cake had been scarfed, I looked around at my full house, squeezed Josh & cried. My heart was so full. My house was full of people that I love deeply. Full of people who love our family, who adore my daughter, & who all asked if they could drop everything & come sit & cry with me or bring me food or be mad for me. Good people. They are amazingly, good people. And they are so deeply loved in my heart. I grabbed my camera, to freeze this moment. Friends chatting with new friends, babies being nuzzled & toys being tossed around. It was a mess, but it was perfect. 

My heart is still grieving, but we're doing it. We have hope for the future. So, while my heart was sad & I missed that little bean that had been growing in me, we partied. Because there ain't nothin' like having fun, celebrating a cute kid to help you move on. For those 2 hours, it was all about her. And it was perfect.

Skype sessions with Uncle Danny & Auntie Rachel, & her Poppi.

1 comment

  1. i adore this and completely admire what a strong person and friend you are. it's heart breaking to watch you grieve through this experience, yet incredible to see you grow and still have hope at the end of the day. it's exactly what we all wished for - one week ago. the party was perfect in every way (despite the non-cake smash) and i am so thankful you have happy memories to share with the sad ones. it makes looking back a little easier. lots of love a. xo.


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