Best Damn Bachette Recap | Week 6

Let's be honest: the only reason you watched this episode is to see who Kaitlyn bangs.

However, if you care about the other minutia, continue reading.

Captain Hook is still in the middle of his psychotic break. He's offended by the low IQ in the frat house, offended by Kaitlyn's lack of depth. That's weird. I thought this show was known for it's reality & depth.

The Serial Killer slithers in as he sees an opportunity to manipulate Kaitlyn. 

Rose Ceremony

Kaitlyn: "You guys, he called me shallow. Can you believe that?"

"::GASP:: NOOOOO!" 

Lips & JoshUA go home. No one is sad. Except JoshUA. He's leaving without half of his hair.

Dublin

We're in Ireland because you can't fall in love in just a regular town in the United States. It's impossible.

The first one-on-one goes to The Serial Killer, & he, accidentally, put on Kaitlyn's pants. 

Nick: "Kaitlyn looks sexy. Super sexy." No, she's wearing my grandmother's sweater.

The entire date is foreplay. Making out against walls, making out in churches, making out in pubs. Hands.Everywhere. 

Nick: "I didn't realize how horny emotional I would be meeting you." 

If you haven't watched a show with your mother-in-law, while two people are going at it with their microphones turned up to deafening levels, I invite you to try it. What a wonderfully bonding experience. False. I wanted to smash my coffee cup on the ground, and stab my eyeballs out with the shattered pieces. 

Shawn: "He's been in this position before. He knows what to do." That's what she said.

After what seemed like an hour of moaning & heavy breathing, we cut to Nick's walk of shame while Kaitlyn suddenly feels guilty.

Kaitlyn: "If Nick tells the guys, I'm going to have to sleep with all of them to make them stay."

Creepy Irish Wake

Chris Harrison: "The worst has happened: Kaitlyn banged Nick is dead."

V for Vendetta: "I just feel better being alive when I'm with Kaitlyn." 

Cupcake: "Even when Kaitlyn's dead, she makes me laugh."

Tanner: "In case you forgot, my name is Tanner."

Benzie: "Don't forget: my mom is dead. In a box. Rose, please."

Gosling goes for the emoshies: pictures of his nieces, nephews & dog. 

V for Vendetta gets the rose. 

Gosling cries.

Gosling: "Kaitlyn told me the other night that I'm the one." 

The Cranberries have nothing better to do anymore, so they sing for Kaitlyn & Vendetta.

Gosling has had it. He's going to confront Kaitlyn because he "can't do this anymore."

For the first time in Bach history, someone is actually eating.

Kaitlyn: "Shit. We're not supposed to eat on this show." 

Until next week...