The Twinkies' Birth Story: Part 1

6:11 PM

Yesterday, I got up at 7:30am for a routine prenatal check-up. I was tempted to skip the appointment because I was getting super frustrated with being violated checked every few days, only to hear that there had been no change. I had been waking up the past 4 nights with terrible, bearing down contractions that were 2 minutes apart and lasted for about 30 minutes. Because I knew the routine, I waited them out, and eventually, they stopped.

The same thing happened in the wee hours of the morning on Friday. I was suddenly awakened by horrible contractions around 2am, they died down, and then I slept fitfully for the rest of the night. I woke up at 7:30 with contractions that were painful, but not terrible. I proceeded to get ready (hair was the priority), grabbed a banana & a protein bar, and headed out the door with my MIL.

Contractions were 4 minutes apart, but still not horrible, so I didn't say much. Every once in a while, one would get painful, I'd have to stop & breathe through it, and then I'd move on. Walking into Dr. P's office, I was cranky. I had already declared to Josh that when Dr. P announced no change in my cervix, I was going to karate chop his throat. Pregnancy makes me so dainty & feminine. 

Dr. P walks in and asks me if I had eaten breakfast...random, but yes, I had. He uses the doppler to find the heartbeats, I peel my "skivvies" off, as he likes to call them, take a deep breath & watch him focus. He smiles & says, "Head up to L&D. You're a 4 or a 5. Let's have some babies." As in true Andrea form, nothing motherly escapes from my mouth: "are you shi**ing me?" "I shi* you not," he replies. So, I dress, head up to L&D, and am eventually put on the monitor. The boys look great, but suddenly the contractions have picked up. They are quite painful & now 2 minutes apart.

Last belly shot! 
And can we just pause a moment to thank my hairdresser for making me look fabulous for surgery!?

Here's the weirdest part. For the 2+ hours that I was up in L&D being monitored, I was in a weird zen-like state. I texted the family & closest friends I needed to text. All very matter-of-fact. Not Andrea-esque in any way. I should have been more hummingbird-like, but I just wasn't. I was in shock. I was planning on karate chopping my doctor that morning, not having TWO babies. So, I chatted & texted & breathed through contractions. We had gone from "c-section in 8 hours" to "you won't make it that long - probably 4 hours" to "you're going in in 30 minutes." It moved fast. And that was fine with me. Then, I got up to pee. And it hit me. I laid back down in the bed while I was "prepped" for surgery "down there," closed my eyes and the room was so loud that it felt like I had turned on a white noise machine. It was hitting me right now. I no longer wanted to do this, I wanted my girlfriend, Maren, my photographer, to leave and I wanted to go back to bed. I wasn't ready.

They put a sexy hair net on my head, threw a warm blanket over my shoulders and we waddled walked to the OR. It was a bright room with lots of sunlight, but it was chilly. I hopped up on the operating table, and they began the process of inserting my spinal. I was floating just 2 minutes later. Suddenly, the room was abuzz. There were 5 nurses surrounding each incubator, my nurses, the anesthesiologist, and Dr. P. My husband & Maren came in shortly after.

He's the best! Dr. P paused for a picture before heading in to slice me & dice me like Dexter. And ladies, he's single & ready to mingle.

Josh kept his forehead to mine for most of the surgery, talking to me, telling me he loved me, and making jokes. He even held up the air sickness bag at maximum arms length when I started to heave from the medication. He jumped up to see the boys as they arrived, and to witness the murder scene that was unfolding in the OR. He was sure this was how I was going to die. I cried the second Dr. P lifted Jax out to show me my first little boy! He was the cutest little old man I'd ever seen. They jostled me around some more & out came Jett, the other cutest little old man I'd ever seen. Jax quickly cried his cry of indignation, but Jett took a bit to make some noise. They were both quickly rushed out of the OR & into the NICU. Their story to continue in Part 2...

Jax Thomas (4 pounds, 9 ounces; 18 inches)

Jett Lucas (5 pounds, 3 ounces; 18 3/4 inches)

The anesthesiologist announced that I would feel sick now because they were "putting my uterus back into my body." I don't know if him saying it or them actually doing it made me sick, but I was heaving again. They began to get placentas out and stitch me back up, and I was relieved to know I was almost done. The nurses cleaned up the murder scene, Dr. P leaned over & kissed my cheek, shook Josh's hand & we were rolled out the door to recovery. Josh headed off to see the boys, and I closed my eyes in recovery with Maren, & then, Kylie at my side.

The rest of the day was a blur. I was rolled into the NICU from recovery after an hour, but wasn't able to see much. I was able to touch Jax, but Jett was having some breathing issues, so it wasn't as easy for me to get through the sea of nurses to touch him. I spent the rest of the afternoon laying in bed, resting, finally eating, hearing tons of information that people swear they told me, but I have zero recollection of hearing.

Yes, the boys are doing well. Yes, I will update you about the first 24 hours with them. Yes, I am doing well. And yes, I am in pain, but I'd choose a C-section over natural any day. And before you blow up my phone asking about Jett, I will tell you everything tomorrow. He's doing GREAT, and every update we get is an improvement from the last one. I will probably be headed home Monday, but they will, more than likely, be here for about a month.

Thanks for reading, caring, praying, texting, and loving our litter. Look for Part 2 of the Twinkies' Birth Story tomorrow. Right now, I get to milk myself pump for the boys and then I'm going to go snuggle them some more.

xoxo,
A.

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