The Best Damn Bach Recap | Week 8

Hometown week is my absolute favorite because it is awkward AF. You are basically being rejected because of your weird ass family. Or in this case, your screaming, psychotic toddlers.

Like we didn't see that coming.

Amanda

On tonight's special episode of Teen Mom, Ben learns what it's like to be a parent to someone else's children. One car ride with toddlers and Ben makes an appointment for a vasectomy.

Amanda takes Ben to meet her family & bursts into tears as if she didn't just see them all day to prep them for today's interview. Relaxicab.

Ben looks like he just had a colonoscopy the entire time he is at Amanda's house. He face does not change.

Amanda's Dad: How do you feel about all your money going to diapers and formula?
Ben: I love coloring and running on the beach.

Lauren

Omg. I totally 'ship them.

For the first time ever in Bachelor history, contestants are seen eating food.

Like she didn't run to a port-a-potty to throw up that butter.

Lauren's sister: What makes Lauren stand out to you?
Ben:

And we all went weak in the knees.

We are all waiting for Lauren to drop the L bomb, but instead, we watch as Ben drives away and LoLo is standing in the middle of the street, looking like a girl trying to remember if she unplugged her curling iron.

Caila

Caila: My dad owns a toy factory and we need laborers.

Things get awkward immediately when Caila's mom throws down the race card.

Caila's Mom: HAVE YOU EVER MET FILIPINOS BEFORE? 

Ben: Umm...

Caila's Dad: I love Filipinos and you will too.

Ben: ...

Caila has a heart to heart with Daddy and says,  I love him. Daddy is not impressed. That's nice. You're about to get crushed.

JoJo

This episode was boring AF, but JoJo's Godfather family redeemed it.

In a last ditch effort by Bach to think of something new, JoJo's "ex" writes her a letter professing his love. Looks like Chris Harrison's handiwork. 

Guido is having none of Ben's bullshit.

Guido: You brainwashed my sister. She belongs to us, not you. You are being coached.

Ben: I really do care about your sister. I promise! I'm pretty sure he just shit his pants.

Capone: We love her indefinitely. We will kill you indefinitely.

Ben: I swear I'm not lying.

JoJo's mom is my spirit animal.

Rose Ceremony

Amanda: You like made me drive like all the way from the OC to LA to like dump me. That was like 30 minutes. I can't like believe you would like do that to me.

Watch for Amanda's new reality show coming soon: The Real Teen Moms of Orange County.

With the exception of watching Olivia's psychotic breakdown, the best part of this season is the previews.

Two women, two I love you's. Who will he choose? Duh. We already know.