The BEST Men Tell All Recap You'll Read

A live ultrasound? Really? I mean, I'll give them the fact that we have never done this before, but holy shiitake mushrooms. I guess we can be thankful that it was a standard ultrasound & not a transvaginal... Weird dress, by the way.

"Easily the scarviest season we're ever had."

The introductions are always awkward. Your worth is measured in hoots & hollers. The quiet ones are always embarrassing. I think Opera Man had the least amount of hoots. Can't imagine why.

Bachelor in Paradise aka Giant Orgy on an Island. And did someone get shot?!

Oh, Andrew. Enough.

That man can rock some red pants.
"I didn't realize you guys were all kissing her so quickly." Dude, it's The Bachelorette. The faster you kiss her, the more roses you get.
We love you, Cookie Monster.

Did you notice in the preview for Bach in Paradise that he's already telling another girl he loves her? #desperado
"I matured a lot & grew a lot." So, I'm going to tell a girl just a few weeks later that I love her now.

"Why didn't Andi fall in love with this big-time farmer from small town Iowa?" It's in the question: Iowa.
"We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to allow a stalker to stop the show & scare Chris into going out with her." My mouth was LITERALLY hanging open the entire time this was happening. Where was security?! I'm not going to be surprised when we see her mugshot on US Weekly.

- Chris: "What changed for you after hometowns?" Iowa.
- Marcus: "Did it scare you that I was so open with you so early?" Yesgodyes.
- Chris S: Was he on the show?

Lie detector test results.
"Marcus said he has slept with less than 20 women. That was a lie." #lookingforloveinallthewrongplaces

These guys would be a lot more likable if the bloopers were a part of the show. Pickles? There's an oil for that!

Who will she choose? Will he propose? Will she say yes?

What do you think? Who do you think she'll choose & why? I'm gearing up for a Bachelorette Finale Party with my girlfriends next week! We'll live tweet our thoughts on the show as we sip champagne & eat Reese's Oreos. Have you tried those? OMG. #fatgirlinsideofmewins


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