The Best Damn Bachelorette Recap | Week 8

I missed last week because this show is the effing worst, but I still watched.

She's letting Luke go!?!??!?!!??! Wow. Idiot.

So, we pick back up with JoJo crying. Again.

Luke pulls a Hail Mary and grabs her to say, "I love you," and JoJo cries like a baby not knowing what to do.

She pulls herself together and sends him packing. FFS.

Suddenly, all is well because she realizes that she gets to bang three dudes this week to see which guy fits her best. This is, basically, Goldilocks and the three bears. 

Robby's Audition

Her first fantasy suite date is with Robby. Does anything special happen? No.

The note from Daddy was weird. Please take my son to your suite and let him disappoint you.

Jordan's Date

So, they head to a cave to walk around and, literally, just talk about talking about their feelings, and JoJo can't keep it in her pants. It's supposed to be all sacred and shit, but she's got a lady boner for Douchenado. For the love. Get a grip, girl.

You can, literally, see Jordan biding his time until he can get his 15 minutes of fame elsewhere. Poor Jordy just can't seem to catch a break. 

He's not bad to look at though.

Chase's Date

Chase: We're in magical Thailand, getting to explore our love for each other. 

JoJo: *at a fish market* Weird! It smells like fish.

Please tell me I hallucinated them pretending to kiss a dead, fecking fish?

JoJo: That monkey is noticing us. ...what?

Chase: It's 5 degrees of gorgeousness. << actual, real quote

JoJo: Tonight is everything. This is final audition. I hope he took his Viagra. 

Mid-bikini-shave, Robby sneaks into JoJo's room to seal his fate with JoJo just in case she was wondering where he stood.

JoJo: I am in love with Jordan, and I love Robby. Chase is a nice guy. 

At dinner, Chase solidifies is stance on their "relationship."

Chase: I love you, I wanna marry you, and I can see my life with you.

JoJo: Thank you for telling me that.

Chase: I just threw myself out there and now I'm skewered! I'm shattered! You never gave me a chance. What a waste of a night.
JoJo: I didn't mean to do this. I accidentally break up with people alllll the time, girl. I feel you.

I wasn't a fan of Chase's until this scene. Get dumped on national television, grab a beer. I like your style, buddy.

Chase: I got a fantasy suite card and got sent home. It's like pulling your pants down and getting kicked in the nuts. #ded

Rose Ceremony

JoJo walks out. Not Chase.

Robby: What does that mean?
Jordan: Something. 

JoJo: Guys, I sent Chase home. He was mad, but GASP! There he is! I'm so shocked.

We get it, Chase. You want to be the next Bachelor.

And the world waits...