Best Damn Bachette Recap | Episode 2

Britt cries.

Men go home.

***

I kid, I kid. But, for real.

In true Chris Harrison fashion, he drags out the painful, "They chose Kaitlyn because you aren't wife material. But can I show you to my suite?" spiel. Could he BE anymore dramatic?

Chris to Kaitlyn: "Unfortunately, you have to go back in there & talk to that room of uggos."

Kaitlyn: "OMG. I think I'm going to throw up."

Me too, Kaitlyn. Me too.

And I'm sorry, why are we not kicking #teambritt boys out the door? We know they wanted Britt, but we're keeping them around? Like, what? Runner-up is good enough?

Cocktail Party

Joshua: "I welded you a rose." Thank you?

Ben Z: "I'm a fitness professional. There's nothing more rewarding than taking a fatty and helping them look hot." Really? Nothing? How about being a doctor and saving lives?

Buddha: "I'm confused right now. My soul sister is gone and I feel like the eagles have soared away. I want to drink of her fountain, but now I need to dig my own well." Whatever he's smoking, I want some.

Jared: "You are so sweet, so pretty, and I'm so happy you're here, so please don't vote me off. I voted for Britt, but now I'm #teamkaitlyn just 15 minutes later."  If that's not sincerity...

JJ: "I have a kid. Rose, please!"

Tanner: You guys, he's a dentist. He needed to check her teeth with his tongue. Relax. 

Shawn B: I didn't know Ryan Gosling had a younger, available brother. 

First impression rose goes to Gosling 2.0. Good choice, Kaitlyn. And hot kiss. 

Rose Ceremony

Let's be honest, we're picking based on looks. So, if you're ugly, peace out. 

Chris, Ben H, JJ, Joe, Kupah, Boy George, Ryan B, Joshua, Buddha...

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to have a dramatic aside with Brady. "This has been a really difficult party for me. I have known Britt for 40 minutes and I want to have her babies, so I'm going to run all over Malibu looking for her. Byeeeeeeeee."

Clint, Corey, Jonathan, Cory, Ben Z, Tanner, Captain Hook, Justin, Jared

And with that, the sex therapist, stripper, & the junkyard specialist are all headed home, and with it, our dreams of kinky drama.

But then, oh, but then. The previews were the best part of this episode.

Nick is back because he still has no life or job. 

The moaning. The freaking moaning. Kudos to Kaitlyn for being the first person to admit that she had sex with someone on the show. I mean, they all do it, but she just had the stones to admit it. 

Who do you hope she picks? Who do you think she sleeps with? If you want to know who she sleeps with, Reality Steve tweeted it last night HERE! Leave comments below! And don't forget to enter to win your Bachelorette tee here!