The BEST Bach in Paradise Recap EVER | Week 2

Oh, Michelle K. You are always good for a little dose of crazy.

There's a psychiatrist on set?? I love this show.

Love the crew member, Lauren, cracking up during the reenactment of the dude jumping off the balcony. Ryan Putz. Putz. lol

We get rid of Michelle K, so we need some more crazy. Enter: Chris B.

Chris B gets the first date card & asks Clare to go out. "Even if he is a womanizer, douchebag...I'll decide that." That sounds super promising, Clare.

Chris B: "Maybe I don't have the best reputation...I've had my days where maybe I wasn't the best guy, but I've learned from it. And when I find the right person, I will be the most loyal & perfect husband, boyfriend..." Didn't you say you fell in love with someone on Bachelorette...? Maybe we should look at the definition of loyal.

Dylan (while Elise rattles on incessantly): "Everyday that I spend time with Elise, I'm missing out on opportunities to get to know other people. I feel, like, smothered." Back down, Chatty Cathy.
Elise: "There might be another date card, so who do you think's gonna get that?" Dylan: "I hope me. I want to go on a date." So I can get away from you.
Elise: "I know we have a good connection. He's just scared." Of you. Smothering him. "He wants to let me go, so I come back, and I come back to him." This is what we call a stalker, people.

Marcus gets the 2nd date card. He chooses Miss Cantaloupes.
Cue Marcus talking about forever, future, falling in love. This guy. Ugh.

YOPO. Please tell me this is not actually a thing. YOLO annoys me enough as it is, and now we're adding YOPO. #idontgetthisgeneration

So, again, Chris was telling Clare about how loyal he'll be, but he's already moving on from Clare to Elise.


Elise: "He put it out there. He, literally, put it out there." #thatswhatshesaid "If I was the other way around, then I would, like, not so upset, and then, his, you know, test, we would know know that...yeah." 

Elise to Dylan: "Yes, I kissed him, but I was thinking about you the whole time." #classic

Dylan: "I told you to go meet other people, but I didn't tell you to go hook up with someone else." Well played, Dylan, well played. 

Zack joins the cast with a date card.

Dylan gets a date card, and Crazy McCrazy is sure that he'll ask her out. He asks Sarah. "Thank you for asking me, but let me think about it." #ouch The most boring date in Bach history begins.

Confrontation with Ben over his little love note. Michelle: "Why did you come?" Free vacation.

Rose Ceremony. 
Love how the guys are cozying up to all the girls & suddenly declaring, "Oh yeah, I've been talking all week long about taking you on a date!" Really? Funny how no one seemed to catch that.

Dylan: "You're a great friend."
Elise: "So, you're saying...?"
Dylan: "Don't hold back your feelings for someone else."
Elise: "So, you're saying that..."
Dylan: "Don't hold back your feelings like for Chris."
Elise: "So, if I gave you a rose, would you accept it?"
Dylan: "No, I wouldn't."
Elise: "I don't get Dylan. He's sending me mixed signals about what he wants."

OMG! I wanted to throw something, anything at this girl!!! HE'S SAYING HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU, PSYCHOPATH!! No! He is not confused or trying to push you away so that you'll come back to him. He.Doesn't.Like.You. You.Are.INSANE.

Lacy > Marcus
AshLee > Graham
Clare > Zack
Michelle > Marquel (Caught that by the skin of your teeth, bub!)
Elise > Dylan...won't accept it. *carnival music* She is so crazy. "Oh, so, Chris, will you accept this rose?" What.the.hell.
Sarah > Robert

Dylan goes home. Shouldn't have hooked up with Crazytown, dude. That can only end badly. "I feel good about my decision. I think Elise is out of her mind." Bahahahaha!

Until next week!




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