SOCIAL MEDIA

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Get Over It

If I see one more post about not believing everything you see on social media, I am going to stab my eyeballs out.


If you are offended by pretty pictures of 1. pretty people, 2. pretty food, 3. pretty vacations, 4. pretty hats, 5. pretty children, 6. anything pretty that you don't have, then get off the internet.

 If you're offended by cake, just don't even try to be my friend. We're over.

Yes, we all do it. Perfect setting, perfect lighting, just the right angle, hip pop, snap, filter, sappy caption, post. Pretty pictures a villain does not make. So, get over it.


Let's back up. I have received messages about how my house is always clean, my children are so beautiful, my hair is amazing. Let me be the first to dispel this outright lie. If there is a picture of my house, it's usually my in-law's house when we're at the pool. My children can look beautiful; they can also look like creatures from the black lagoon. If there is a picture on social media of my hair, it is because I have actually taken the time to dislodge it from the permanent grease bun on top of my head, wash it, and curl it. Get over it.


Now, when I see posts like that or a recent influx of posts about not believing "everything you see on social media," I, literally, want to vom. Do you know how bitchy that makes you sound? Get over it. Some people see life through rose-colored glasses. I'm sorry you don't. Get over it. Some people wake up "sunny-side up," like my dumb sister would say every dumb morning when she dumb woke up. I'm sorry you are a cranky bitch. Get over it. Some people are photographers who are insane about perfect lighting, angles, edit, and emotion. I'm sorry you are aren't. Get over it. Some people are supes fashionable and like to show it off. I'm sorry you rock mom jeans. Get over it.


Get the freaking freak over it, people. If you're that bothered by it, ask Jesus to help you stop being such a butthole. Take your own pretty pictures of your pretty hair, and your pretty kids, and get over it.

/endrant

a.
Nicole Witt said...

Creatures from the black lagoon....hahaha dying. Love this post so much.