Paradise Recap | Episode 511:28 PM
You guys, I can't get caught up so eff episode 4. I can sum it easily: Ashley I. cries, people go on dates, people make out, drama, Ashley I. cries some more, and then they leave us with a cliffhanger.
I have come to realize that this show is just about crying.
Ashley I: Clare runs away crying & Chris Harrison is the only one who runs after her and only because he's paid to. Yeah because you won't be crying in the next scene. Relaxicab.
Ashley I gives her rose to Jared. Poor guy.
Clare gives her rose to...JJ.
Juelia gives her rose to Joe. Well played, Joe.
Jonathan & Mikey go home. And no one is sad.
Juelia: Joe is totally here for me. He came here for me.
Joe: I can't wait to do Samantha.
The second Samantha steps into the grass hut, Joe has to adjust his pants, & they head out on a date together.
Chris Harrison to Samantha: No one knows who you are. You never spoke.
Joe: She's my dream girl.
Jared: Did you know Sam before the show?
On a completely run of the mill first date, Joe & Samantha shoot a porn.
Juelia: I thought you loved me. I had already pinned everything for our wedding.
Juelia: You haven't talked to me for hours.
Joe: It's been like an hour and a half. Have a nice night tho.
Cue: Chris Harrison's voice to lead us out.