The Super Stupid Men Tell All Recap

I'll admit that I spent a lot of time on my phone last night because of how painfully boring this episode was. 

Guys, we rehash Clint & JJ's gay exploits ("but I swear I'm straight"), Ian tries to dispel the dick factor and we hear about the dead mom. For whatever reason, ABC believes that we enjoy this 2-week break from finding out which douche the Bach picks to get engaged to and eventually dump.

I promise this will be short & sweet because who the feck cares about this dumb-ass episode.

Ian's mother forces him to go on national television and apologize for being a huge wanker. 

Brokeback tries to clear up his sexuality. Methinks if you have to shout it from the rooftops 15 times in one hour, you may like dudes.

Some random-ass guy gets on the panel and has a lot to say about a show he was never even on.

We ooh & ahh over Jared & Ben H. and then Kaitlyn comes out in a very see-through dress. Good thing betch does squats.

I have never. Wow. I mean, I'm not a Kaitlyn fan and there is not much virginal about this girl, but hot damn. There are some nasty people in this world. Too bad we can't see their usernames so that we can go bust some balls.

Insert shamless plug for Orgy Bachelor in Paradise. 

Until the finale next week, kittens!